The first day of school, my daughter set her alarm for 6:30a.m., laid out all of her clothing for the next day and of course the backpack was ready by the door. The alarm goes off, which she never hears by the way, since she literally could sleep through a bomb. I however, do hear the alarm. I have a hard time sorting out what is being said on the morning show commentary but as I get closer I hear them interviewing another party and they are laughing and cursing and my eyes open a bit wider. Before I can turn off the alarm they begin to play the song the interviewee has written. It is a song, a letter really, he has written to his private part. Now, I am wide awake. I let my daughter know she will have to find another station. I even tell her about the content of the song to which her response is "eewww".Fast forward, the first day goes off without a hitch and as we prepare for bed again that night, I remind her to make sure she has changed the station and she informs me that this station doesn't normally play "that" kind of music. She suggests that, maybe if she just turns it waaay down... NO. Then she says; "really mom, you just cannot predict when a station is going to play a curse word or something you may be offended by". She rationalizes in her mind that it's not a big deal. It doesn't affect her the way it affects me. I explain that I certainly can predict that we won't hear it and will not be affected by it because it will not be on. The night ends with her in tears and me down the hall thinking, Good, I want you to cry. I want you to mourn this moment so you can deal with it and we can move on. I think of what a weird thing it is for a parent to want their child to cry. It's not that I want her to be upset. It's that I want her to be able to let go.
The God alarm in my head says, "ahem". I begin to think of all the potential times God has thought these same exact thoughts towards me. Like, Christy, I want you to stop beating your head against this same wall when my answer isn't going to change. Stop rationalizing, justifying... I want you to mourn it so you can deal with it and move on. Unforgiveness, bitterness, and so much more. James 4:9msg says, "Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet."
What is curious to me is that my daughter doesn't even like the kind of music I asked her to turn off. She would tell you so herself. But in the moment she was obsessed with the restriction. She was focused on not being able to do something instead of realising the freedom that exists in not having to deal with the mind pollution that would exist otherwise. Can't we all relate? Today, let's get perspective. Let's realise that God's boundaries are not intended to restrict but to protect and provide freedom. James 4:4msg, "You're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get..." For now, my 11 year old may not be able to filter the deeper meaning behind my house rules and that's OK. For now I am her filter. It's my job to help her hold on to pure thoughts even if she doesn't understand the importance of it. And more than that, in all the areas that God requires my own obedience even in moments I cannot wrap my mind completely around the why, I am going to choose be submissive as well because that is a Hope Choice.
Christy Hilbert
