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| Veronica and Stephen Flowers |
Looking back a few years in my marriage, I wanted only one thing. I wanted my husband to change! So I picked up my Power of the Praying Wife book by Stormie Omartian and started to read about how I could pray for him to change, but in bold black letters the words said, “change ME Lord”. Oh how I did not want to read that. I couldn’t believe it! My husband is the one who needs to change not me! I do recommend this book to any wife. It has been a key part of my journey as a wife. This was the beginning of a long term process of God changing me. I say long term because I still need Him to change me. I will say that at that time in our marriage, we both needed some changing, but God needed me to be willing to do the changing first. God had a plan, he just needed me to be on the same page with Him.
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and He will direct your paths.” I needed to learn that God cared about me so much that He wanted to give me the desires of my heart. He wanted me to go to Him first with any problems, so that He could begin working. 1 Peter 5:6-7 “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time He will honor you.” For so long I was focused on what my husband didn’t do or what he was doing wrong that I became my husband’s opponent. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about what happens to you. That was so powerful for me. I found myself spending more time with God in His word and prayer. I had no doubt that God would change me and my husband for the better. I felt such great love from God. I knew God wanted victory for me. One of the things God immediately showed me was that I needed to change my heart attitude. My husband’s career had brought such excitement into our lives, but at the same time the long hours brought resentment into my heart. I wanted to change things by nagging and complaining to my husband.
I had been teaching in a small Christian School in Abilene, Tx when God spoke clearly to me. My second grade students were in line to leave the classroom when I had to teach them that any issues they had with each other, they needed to bring to my attention. I was their teacher, who cared about them and wanted to help them. I told them that if they tried to change situations on their own, they might make it worse. God gently reminded me right there in my classroom, I heard His gentle voice say, “Veronica if you have a problem with Steven, come to me and don’t nag him. I am here to protect you and help you. Don’t try to fix this on your own because you will only make it worse.” God wanted me to put Him first and complain to Him. Steven was His child too. God wanted to fill a part of life that only He could. THAT was a big revelation to me. My husband was God’s child too. He cared about Him too. If there would be any changes they would only be by God. Ecclesiates 3:14 “Whatever God does it shall be forever.” If my husband needed to change, God would have to be the one to show him, not me. I reached a peace in my life. I knew God cared and I knew He was working on me and for me. I had such a confidence in God’s love for me that I started to pray in a different way for my husband. I became my husband’s “cheerleader” and interceded for my husband. God showed me that I had been my husband’s opponent, a defensive Christian and now it was time to be on the same team. If I wanted victory, I would gain it through praying for my husband. Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive and beauty does not last but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.” Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. Praying for my husband allowed me to walk in love. This was God’s entrance into my husband’s heart.
Eph 3:20 “Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.” So God did what He said in Eph. 3:20. I had become so involved in praying for my husband to be blessed and succeed that my resentment had disappeared. Prayer had produced a love that I cannot explain. God began to show my husband where he had erred and began to fall more in love with God. No matter where you are in life, it is the same from God. He desires a relationship with you every day. Start with him and things will change. I didn’t’ get where I am today over night and my husband did not either. A commitment to use God is what it takes to make changes. 1 Cor. 15:10 “But whatever I am now it is all because God poured out his special favor on me and not without results.” God wants those who diligently seek Him to success, so that others will be drawn to Him. So give Him a try.
Veronica Flowers, CareNet Branch Director
