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| Luis and Sandra Gutierrez |
It is a privilege to be a part of the Pre-Marital Classes offered at CareNet Pregnancy Centers
Luis, my husband, and I will complete 35 years of marriage this year. As I think back to the beginning of our relationship, we had many long talks about what we expected in a marriage. We both had our parents as well as older siblings already married, so we compared notes and decided what we would tolerate and what we absolutely would not. We talked about how many children we wanted, when we should start our little family; we discussed our beliefs and how we would teach our children about God. Praise God we both believed there is only one God and one way to get to Him. After 9 months of fussin and discussin, we married.
We had it all planned, the wedding was on, then the honeymoon and from there we would live happily ever after. Honestly, I don't think I ever really thought about how hard it would be at times. Combining the two personalities, knowing when it was ok to compromise and when I had to stand my ground and pray he would see things my way. My mom mentioned other things like working, cooking, cleaning, raising kids, letting go of my ideas and going along with his. Wow, not as easy as it sounded!! Of course, things change after the "I Do", once you get past the feelings and emotions. For example, on our 1st Anniversary; he was literally waiting on me hand and foot. I was 8 and a half months pregnant, had the worst cold ever and could not even get out of bed. Yes, instead of 3 years, it was more like 3 months. Ooooops! Not exactly how we planned to spend our first year anniversary, but we got through it.
As the years went by, the problems got bigger and our faith in God had to get stronger. I began to ask God what happened to that marriage made in heaven, one of peace and contentment. I used to call my Dad and ask him what I was supposed to do about my husband; he was set in his ways and was not willing to change for me. My Dad would always suggest I stand in front of the mirror and look at me first, to see what I could change about me. Around this time, a very dear friend gave me a book entitled "Lord Change Me". A book that could definitely give a girl a complex, but instead, it opened my eyes to see that God had a plan and a purpose for me if I was willing to let Him change me. Through much prayer, bible study, commitment, and much determination, I began to see change in myself as well as those around me. Reminds me of the saying; "If Mamma Ain't happy, Ain't nobody happy", I knew I had to allow God to transform me into His image. (Romans 12:2) As Luis and I draw closer to God through prayer and commitment, we continue to draw closer to one another. Living through the hard times while enjoying the good and looking forward to what God has in store. Today we are both committed to sharing the gospel while striving to be godly examples to our children. Both our adult children along with their spouses are involved in their church, teaching and training our 6 grandsons in the way they should go.
One of many truths I have held on to is found in Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding." I had to be willing, and allow God to make me willing in the areas I wasn’t willing. He is soooo Faithful!! Another favorite is Philippians 1:6, "Being confident of this very thing, that He which has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.
Always remember to pray for one another. Prayer for your spouse leads to forgiveness; prayer leads you to love; and prayer for your spouse leads to the abundant life. You cannot pray for your spouse and stay mad at them. You cannot pray for your spouse and not want to hang out with him/her, for prayer facilitates intimacy. Prayer changes your heart and theirs.
